WTF??

I don't know when it happened...I'm not quite certain why it happened.  I HATE my job. For anyone who truly knows me, they know those words have never been spoken, by me, in the 18 + years, I've been on this job.  When I first started this job, it was busy...and I mean very busy.  I would answer more phone calls during a day than I can begin to count here. The shipping basket would be filled to capacity, and several trucks would jockey for position at the dock door. One customer would send an empty trailer just for his product.  I would ship over 100 packages UPS, heck the UPS driver considered 70 a light day :))  Now...I'm lucky to have 5 cartons going out the door, and it's FEDEX now, not UPS. The dock door stands open and empty now.  The phone rings maybe 10 times a day. I spend most of my day fielding emails from creditors and trying to figure out if there will be enough money for payroll and payroll taxes.  Bonuses are a thing of the past as are health, and life, insurance. I'm not certain if there will be any pension for me when I need it.  I'm bored to tears, but I have no other recourse until someone sees my resume and decides to hire me.  I've even gone as far as sending resumes out of state.  I cannot leave a paycheck before I have one to replace it, but boy is it tempting.  I know the smart thing is to "tough" it out, but it's really tough. I know, I should be very grateful to have a job to complain about, and I am...truly.  I recognize the difficulties others are having, and have had, in finding work.  So, yes on one hand I'm very grateful, on the other hand, I feel as though I'm wasting away here.
There are days, like today, when I want to take a leap, step out, and just go.  Toss the fear to the side and just walk away, but I can't; that's not realistic.  Oh well...stop complaining....suck it up and do what you have to do right?  If only....see post below.  No wonder my daughter says she doesn't want to be like me...I don't want to be like me either.