No offense to those wearing the pink ribbon or buying the pink ribbon....I do not. It's not something I, by choice, do. I've never been one to "advertise" my support of breast cancer funding. It was brought to mind again today, it's something I just don't do. Let me be clear though...I make donations, I do so in my own way. Today, at the ox roast, there was an opportunity to donate for breast cancer...make a donation and you could sign your name to a pink paw print. The paw print is a symbol of the Grandview High School Bobcat mascot. I, like always when given this kind of opportunity, signed my paw print, "For all conquerors". I don't consider myself a survivor, to me survivor means I must have been a victim and I refuse to think of myself as a victim.
This is the way I think about it...those of you that think otherwise are, of course, well within your right to do so. Each one of us carries our own experience into these things and this is my experience. Every post about breast cancer, is my experience. There is no right or wrong. I have never felt survivor was the right moniker for me, neither is wearing a pink ribbon. For ME, that is like a beacon drawing attention to me...and it might as well scream..."Hey, look everybody, she's had breast cancer". In my mind, I am a conqueror, I know I have this thing beaten and it will never come back and try to inflict itself upon me...it cannot. Again...my thoughts, my experience and my blog and I can say whatever I want.
Ta,ta for now
Today, I'm going to cry. I know I will. There is a dresser in my spare bedroom that has a drawer that I have refused to go near in 10 years. It has all of my old bras in them. The pretty lacy ones that plunge down the front, or the ones that are such pretty colors with panties that match. I've deliberately stayed away from it. But today is the day. I'm ready.
ReplyDeleteI'm ready to finally accept that I will NEVER wear them again. I was not able to have reconstructive surgery after my mastectomy, so I've had to wear a prothesis, even to the point to where I had to duct tape them up to keep them from falling apart.
But I'm finally ready to let go as I have bigger battles to fight now because of "it".
But it's okay, if I shed a tear or two when I throw them away, isn't it?
Mo, I wish I were a seamstress...I would have all your bras picked up, and I would make you something beautiful out of them, so you could always have them. My heart is with you, and though you may be alone when you open that drawer, I'm with you in spirit and in love.
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